Bila jauh dari Allah

Sometimes I feel myself getting further and further away from Allah.

That's why I said I was in hiding you see?

When you feel like you've done something good, then the next day you commited sins.

Then after that you gave up on ever trying to get closer to Allah.

I don't like this.

It's like a roller coaster ride. One time you're at your peak, you feel close to Allah, and the next time you're at the bottom, feeling so very far away from Allah.

I know people say Allah is always forgiving, He is always there to remember you when you forget Him.

But still, sometimes you (I) feel shameful and embarassed to meet and apologize to Allah.

Taubah one day, sin the next day.

That's not taubat nasuha is it?

*~*~*

It is also said that you should never give up on Allah. Never ever, EVER give up on Allah.

...

So I won't, okay?

*~*~*

This is my personal jihad. Something I have to fight on my own.

Ini ujian saya. Memang susah sangat. Tapi saya kena lawan jugak. Jihad menentang nafsu.

*~*~*

Sometimes I feel envious seeing other friends being able to keep up with their efforts to get close to Allah.

That's why sometimes I feel easier to live in INTI.

*~*~*

Okay, rambling time over.

Start from zero Amalina.

Start from zero.