Today

Today I woke up feeling bad again.

I was dreading the moment I had to meet Brian to discuss about my so-called research.

I guess my biggest fear is actually failing this.

I'm sure I won't fail per say, it's just that... I guess... I don't want to bother him too much, and that makes me very hesitant to ask for his time.

Kesian jugak kat dia.

I don't know.

*~*~*

Then while I was crying, asking Allah to calm my turbulent heart, I vowed to leave some jahiliyyah stuff that is still strong in my heart.

And right after that, my heart became calm.

Haish.

Maybe all these dugaans are Allah's way of purifying a very dirty heart.