I need help

Even if I'm drowning. I won't call for help.

That's the way I like it. To not feel anything. To just be numb.

Numb is good. Numb means you don't feel anything.

*~*~*

I took a gastrointestinal (GI) cocktail last week to numb a stomach pain.

That was nice. The thing numbed my lips and tongue and throat (till I felt like swallowing something thick, since I couldn't feel my throat). It also numbed the GI track. For a while, it was comforting, to not be able to feel anything.

But that's not the cure.

*~*~*

Feeling numb won't get you far.

The pain comes back up again.

And you realize you're actually suffocating. You're in pain.

*~*~*

But it's so much easier to just be numb.

Because the medicine tastes oh-so-bitter.

*~*~*

I need help.

*~*~*

Change is needed.

Isn't that right?

*~*~*

I can't eat spciy, oily food now. I can't even eat my multigrain sandwich bread. Nor can I drink milk, consume yogurt, or eat ice cream.

I can't drink coffee or eat chocolate.

Oh, the luxuries my tongue will be missing!

*~*~*

But if change is needed to become better, then I'm willing to pay the price.

And change I must.

*~*~*

I really need help.